Room of Angels
by ToxicumJazzy
Summary: Grimmjow is struggling with his current, confusing relationship with Ulquiorra. He doesn't seem to understand his feelings or tolerate them all together. He hates this man, yet there is some unknown feelings rising, something he blindly brushes aside. Follow his struggle and his inner torment in a short story full of love, hate, and...sex. GrimmxUlqui


**Author's Note.****_This is my first story here on FF so I hope you guys enjoy it. And tell me what you think or whatever you might want to say, I'm hoping to get a few reviews. This story is only a short story, but it does have a good amount of chapters, I already have them typed down on my computer. _**

**Disclaimer. ****_I own nothing of Bleach or any of it's characters. It rightfully belongs to Tite Kubo!_**

* * *

_**You Lay Silent There Before Me**_

Ulquiorra's eyes shifted from one thing to another, two were precious during nights like these, and two, as beautiful as both are, were two entirely different things.

One...was the moon.

The other...

Was Grimmjow.

At nights when both were quiet, Ulquiorra loved to sit and stare at both things that glowed beautifully in his vision. The moon would be so gorgeous in a starless sky, and what made it sparkle even more beautifully was the white sand that covered the land. Than there was the man asleep in the bed...only in his sleep, was he the most stunning thing his eyes had ever seen. It was like watching a miracle unfold before his eyes...it was...quite lovely, and that captivated him more than the moon's luminous silver light...Grimmjow's peaceful and relaxed face. Ulquiorra couldn't explain it...but...the man was quite...gorgeous in his own way. With his face relaxed in sleep, eyes fluttering under closed eyelids and lips that would somehow twist into a small little smirk, Ulquiorra had to suppress that deep embedded urge to wake him and hold him until the break of dawn.

But he had to stop himself, for three different reasons...

First, there was no dawn here, second, Grimmjow hated to be woken up during a deep sleep, and lastly (but also more importantly) it just...wasn't right to think such things in the first place.

For all Ulquiorra knew...Grimmjow hated him, and only liked to use him for his amorous activities, and for him...it was the same.

Ulquiorra couldn't have feelings for a man who only wanted him for these meaningless nights of passion, all Grimmjow wanted out of Ulquiorra was for him to shut up, get it up and never speak about this to anyone. Ulquiorra had no objections, simply because...he didn't mind...and over these past nights, Ulquiorra would always be the one at top, never at the bottom, which was good on his part, he wouldn't subjugate himself for being bottom, not him. It was amusing, to know that Grimmjow liked to be at the bottom though...

Ulquiorra went and sat back down on the bed, careful that he wouldn't wake Grimmjow who was kept in silent slumber beside him. He stirred in his sleep when he felt the bed sink, but he went back to sleeping...thankfully.

Ulquiorra looked beside him and watched as the man slept...

He enjoyed these nights...

He didn't like...to be alone.

Ulquiorra blinked as he seen the man smirk in his sleep again, and this brought a small and tiny flutter to enter his stomach, he didn't know what it was...but it...felt strange. He paid no mind to it, instead, he watched.

_How...can he sleep so soundly...? Are we not enemies? I can easily snap his neck if I chose to or even stab him through his heart...and yet, he sleeps like a child, oblivious and naïve._

Ulquiorra carefully wound a hand around his neck and stared emotionlessly as Grimmjow made no movement. _You're such a fool, Grimmjow. To leave yourself so vulnerable in the sights of an enemy. Are you not aware...? Are you not aware of how close you can be...to death? Or are you certain...that I will not harm you? _

"I...hate you."

His hand fell from his neck...and Ulquiorra...laid in silence.

Grimmjow always awoke to an empty bed...

It wasn't new, it wasn't anything of concern, it was just...relevant. He would always wake up in a bed without him being there, hell he would be so fucking surprised if that bastard stayed. But he knew...that would never happen. No, this was just how it was supposed to be.

Grimmjow sat up and started to stretch, his body and mind awoke feeling completely rested and recharged, maybe it was the activities of last night...either way, he felt great.

Last night was strange though...

Ulquiorra...

Grimmjow remembered him being awake, and walking around at night, he could've left him right after the sex, but he stayed...he stayed longer than necessary, and didn't leave until dawn.

Why?

Usually he would leave once Grimmjow was tired, but this time he stayed longer...

And Grimmjow could have sworn that he heard him last night, he had said something...but what was it again...? He wasn't sure, and he really didn't care at the moment, right now...he wanted to get up and start training, which is what he always did in the mornings, than he would work up an appetite and look to find some food to eat, than at night...well...he would see how he felt by that time. Usually he would be too tired to do anything and fall asleep, and some nights, he would send someone to get Ulquiorra.

That bastard could be cruel at times too...

Sometimes, when Grimmjow was aching, yearning, wanting...Ulquiorra would say he was tired or busy (busy kissing Aizen's ass, as Grimmjow liked to put it) and wouldn't say when he would stop being busy, just to piss him off.

And Grimmjow was never allowed to spend a night at Ulquiorra's, it would always be his quarters and that was all, Grimmjow wasn't sure if it was Ulquiorra was just being uptight or he had a problem with him being there, whatever it was, Grimmjow didn't mind. He prefered his place, that way, Ulquiorra was always free to leave whenever he wanted, but last night was different, and in the back of Grimmjow's mind...it bothered him.

But he had to suppress it, he didn't want to think about it...he didn't want to think about him! For all the things to think about...why did it have to be him?

_That bastard..._

"I hate you..."

Grimmjow walked away from the bed and got dressed...

Things kept wandering inside his head...

Feelings kept piling up over the other...but the only thing he could do...was to ignore it, as they lay silent there before him.

* * *

**_Really Don't Deserve It_**

"Goddamn it!" Grimmjow slammed his fist against stone wall as it shook and crumbled just under his knuckles.

He looked at his arm that hung against him as it bled constantly from the deep gash that was slit from his hand and up his fore-arm.

He hissed and began to lick at the wound that continued to bleed across his skin, it was a foolish attempt to stop the bleeding, but that was his instinct. If an animal was wounded, they would lick the area and treat it themselves, but Grimmjow always had to remind himself, that...he wasn't just some animal.

He wasn't.

Though...he was still being treated like one.

"Shit..." He gave a harsh whisper and stopped licking at the wound, he needed to bandage it up.

He was careless...

He was so caught up in his thoughts, that he made one little error and accidently injured himself in his training...it was stupid...and so fucking annoying for him. He was never one to think about things so minor and hardly worth his time, but his mind...just wouldn't stop itself from thinking so profoundly. But that's not what pissed him off...what really pissed him off was that those damn thoughts were about that stupid man! That stupid, heartless, annoying, frustrating man...! Fucking Ulquiorra Schiffer! And now...He was the cause of his injury, and that...just got him more fucking angry.

"Were you being careless...?"

Grimmjow's eyes widened as he quickly glanced in back of himself to see, none other, than Ulquiorra.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He grumbled and licked at his arm again, but stopped himself from looking more stupid than he already felt.

"I just wanted to tell you that I will be busy tonight." He stated blankly and looked a different direction, which pissed off Grimmjow more...why wasn't he looking at him? Was he...ashamed...to even glance in his direction?

"Ok, so is that all you wanted to tell me? If so, you can get the hell out now." Grimmjow snorted and started to examine the cut across his arm, but suddenly, he was caught of guard by Ulquiorra's touch on his injured arm. He flinched and was about to punch him, as any wounded animal would react...they would attack if anything or anyone came close to it when it was vulnerable, but soon he relaxed at Ulquiorra's hands, that carefully examined him and helped soothe the pain.

"What are you doing?" Grimmjow growled and attempted to flinch away like his touch. He didn't like this, he didn't like how close he was, how caring that he may have seemed. No...this was getting to dangerous.

"I'm only looking at your injury, Grimmjow. Calm down..."

"Hmph, you're getting to close, Ulquiorra...back off!"

Ulquiorra didn't listen, instead he began to pull out a small bottle which held a translucent liquid, and gently poured the contents out and onto the bloodied and injuried arm.

Grimmjow watched in silence as Ulquiorra poured out the liquid, it was thick, unlike water, but it held the clearness that water possessed, but what amazed him more, was the fact that his wound...was healing.

The blood was beginning to fade and the deep, crimson gash that went up his arm was slowly regenerating into his normal flesh, becoming nothing, not even a scar remained. It was fascinating to watch, but even more...when he was staring at the concentrated face of his rival and his lover, no, he couldn't say lover...what they were doing was far beyond "love". 'Fucker' perhaps...? Hmph...that seemed appropriate in their case.

"Wh-what..."

"I healed it...simple as that."

"But how?"

"It was an experiment that Szayelapporo Grantz on..."

"Oh, and you just thought it would be so fucking clever to use me as a test subject to that freak, huh!?" Grimmjow snarled and pushed him aside as he began to storm off to the exit, leaving Ulquiorra behind him.

"That's...not what I meant at all..." Ulquiorra murmured and watched as the blue-haired man trailed further away from him.

_That bastard! Why does he always continue to fuck around with me!?_

Grimmjow stormed through the white desert sand, cursing under his breath and glaring at the ground with contempt in his eyes.

"Lord Grimmjow!"

_Fuck sakes!_ Grimmjow whipped his head back and seen a lowly arrancar, who was simply used as his messenger to various people...like Ulquiorra.. "What is it!?" He snapped.

"Lord Aizen wishes to see you...it's urgent, he says you might be going to the World of the Living."

Grimmjow's eyes widened and soon a sly grin crossed his face. "The World of the Living..."

Ichigo Kurosaki...

What power...what stength...!

And...

What a fucking Piss-Off!

How that hell can someone like that be so fucking strong!? How can a dumb, teenage prick be that powerful!? How...!? How can a Soul Reaper brat like him...get him to weaken!?

Why the hell was he so goddamn weak!?

Did this have something to do...

With those thoughts?

Oh, God no!

Grimmjow...was humliated...

Outraged.

Disgusted.

Ashamed.

He hated everyone, he hated himself...he hated...EVERYTHING! He hated and hated until there was nothing left to hate. How can someone hate...this much? How can "hate" be something so powerful and yet drive you to do such stupid things?

Grimmjow would never know...all he knew...was that this hate would never leave his soul.

And now...he hated Ulquiorra, actually he always hated him, but now...now he was certain that he hated Ulquiorra the most out of everything. If it weren't for him, if he hadn't been in his mind 24/7, every second, every minute, every hour of the goddamn day...he would have been just fine! He probably would've even beaten that Soul Reaper prick...! It was his fault...his fault.

Its been more than weeks now...

And Ulquiorra hadn't seen Grimmjow since their mission to the World of the Living and when Kaname Tosen...severed his left arm.

Since then...Grimmjow hasn't shown his face to him, or to anyone else for that matter, in a week or perhaps longer...

It wasn't that he was worried, infact he couldn't care less...but he wanted to see him. Ulquiorra wanted to see...if he was ok...mentally, and check to see if he did something stupid again. Whatever the reasons he came up with, Ulquiorra couldn't deny that he just wanted to see him, nothing more, nothing less. He just needed...to see him.

As he left for Grimmjow's quarters, he noticed that Luppi was skipping through the hallways, completely careless of everything that he passed, but once he had seen Ulquiorra, he stopped and smiled slyly.

"Oh? Are you going to see the former Sexta?" He grinned.

Ulquiorra said no words, he simply nodded and continued to walk.

"Tell him I said 'hi.' I tried to go see him, but I can tell that he isn't good with visitors..." He giggled childishly and started to skip through the halls again.

Ulquiorra didn't even bother to glance back at him or even aknowledge his words, secretly, he only wished that the boy would shut up and leave. Luppi was much too talkative...and...sneaky, maybe that's why him and Gin Ichimaru got along so well.

Ulquiorra stopped at his door and lifted his fist, which was ready to knock, but...he didn't, instead he spoke quietly and emotionless.

"Grimmjow...let me in."

No answer.

Because there wasn't answer, Ulquiorra remained quiet as well, until soon he heard a small clatter and in an instant, the door rushed open and he was quickly pulled inside.

It surprised Ulquiorra for a few seconds, until he looked around and seen that his room...was an entire mess, no, that was an understatement...his room was in shambles!

Chairs, tables, cups, his bed...everything was everywhere, in pieces, in splinters...every little thing was scattered across that white tiled floors. His bed was mangled, long and monsterous tears were etched across the sheets and even on the walls. Even Grimmjow looked dishevelled and weary, like he had gone days without eating, sleeping, showering or even sunlight, and perhaps he did.

"Grimmjow, you-"

Lips crashed to his, forcing his back to slam against the wall behind him, his eyes widened as a hand roughly grabbed his shoulder and pinned him to the wall.

Grimmjow's lips were still held to his, his tongue grazing across Ulquiorra's whose mouth was clamped shut in refusal to the forced kiss brought upon him, but when Grimmjow glared into his eyes and painfully bit down on his bottom lip, Ulquiorra opened his mouth to give a threat, but was cut off by Grimmjow's tongue entering between his parted lips.

Ulquiorra pushed back on Grimmjow's chest, but the man wouldn't move away from him, and if he tried to remove his mouth from his, he would only bite his lip again and plunge his tongue into his mouth more, his kiss was demanding, forceful, rough...like Grimmjow poured all his frustrations into that kiss alone. Ulquiorra felt those frustration, and met them with his own. But...he was going to tolerate this breech into his mouth and the assault at his lips.

"G-Grimmjow..." Ulquiorra mumbled as Grimmjow's lips were still kissing his. "Grimmjow...!" He rose his voice, but that didn't stop Grimmjow at all. Ulquiorra placed his palms against his chest and effortlessly pushed him with enough force to send him flying back, but he had miscalculated his strength and the Espada stared blankly as he watched the former Sexta fall and slide across the cluttered floor.

He stayed motionless, but he spoke up. "That's enough."

Grimmjow shot his eyes up and glared intensely. "What the fuck do you mean _'that's enough'_!?"

"I'm saying that your force will not be tolerated from me."

"Oh that's it..." He grinned bitterly. "_You're_ suppose to be the only one to show force, huh? Do you get turned on by forcing me to do this and that? Well go ahead...tell me to do something..."

"Grimmjow...you're clearly not thinking wisely."

"What do you want to do, huh? Do you want to bind me? Tie me to something? Do something to you? Beg? Plead? Heh...you were always such a sadist." He snorted, but when he got no response from the raven-haired male, he gritted his teeth angrily. "Say something! Tell me what to do! What..."

He needed...someone...

Someone to cherish his existence...he wanted to be anything...! He wanted to at least be something to anyone, to be praised and aknowledged...he needed anything. Why...why couldn't he just be something...more? He would do anything...for a chance to be...someone. He wanted to know his existance isn't just something you can throw away...something...meaningless.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO!?" He yelled and gripped on to Ulquiorra's shirt collar, his eyes pleading even in his moment of madness.

**_Slap!_**

Grimmjow stood in stunned silence as he felt the after shock of the slap strike his face, it didn't hurt...it just came...as a surprise.

There was a moment of silence...

"Get out..." Grimmjow muttered viciously.

Ulquiorra nodded, not wanting to anger him more, and made his way out of his room. Once he was outside, the door was shut behind him in mere seconds, slamming roughly enough to cause his hair to fly forwards.

Ulquiorra stood motionless at the door.

He hadn't meant to slap him...

He...didn't...deserve it.

* * *

**_Next chapter there's going to be some M rated scenes, so be aware of that. Lol so...Auf Wiedersehen! See you in the next chapter!_**


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